Failure is a passion

I was so tired last night; I've been pushing myself too hard. I just wanted something simple, something comfortable. As a friend of mine used to say, I wanted goopy food. Last night's dinner inspiration was fueled by exhaustion, pain and misery.

Here's some new recipes:

-1 Stew of Disappointment:

1/4 cup black beans
1/4 cup barley
1/4 cup lentils
1/2 head cauliflower
Lace with excessive toil and season with tears
2-3 cups of water

Boil water and add all ingredients. Simmer until dark purple mess turns into a bluish gray muck.
Serve with a dirty spoon. While eating, gaze longingly at the floor. Wince and moan softly with each bite.
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Peppers and Misery:

2 cubanelle peppers
1/2 medium red onion
2 medium tomatoes
4 oz ground chicken

In a saute pan, saute onions until translucent.
Add finely sliced peppers, saute until soft
Dice tomatoes and add to pan. Mush everything up and cover.
Check occaisionally.
When you have a nice goopy mess, make sure that you add spices and herbs that counter any possibility of good flavor.
Add ground chicken and cook until not raw.
Mix everything together into a not-so-fantastic tasting melange.
Cover with salt to make acceptable.
Pray that each forkful will be the last.



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Why, God, Why? :

1 package Jello Fat Free/Sugar Free Lemon pudding
1.5 cups water
4 tbs wheat germ

Mix Jello and cold water with a whisk forever. It will never thicken.
Add wheat germ in a feeble attempt at thickening the pudding.
Fail.
Realize that you have no clean spoons and proceed to drink the mixture straight from the bowl.
With each miserable sip, contemplate the wreckage of your so called life.
When bowl is empty. lick clean in a wretched attempt at extracting some final shred of joy before bed.
Make your bed, lie in it and stare at the ceiling as your stomach churns your dreams into a thick red paste.