I'm seriously starting to lose it

I bought a scale on the way home last night. Over the years, I've eschewed the thought of using a scale to measure my progress in losing weight (brilliant, eh?). I had fears of obsessive disappointment; daily weighing showing bare progress and fears of that demotivating me. At the level that I am tracking my caloric intake, I decided that a scale would give me a more accurate picture of where I am rather than going by "this part feels less squishy!"

My pre-adderall days of 5 years ago saw me pushing just under 350 pounds, 3x shirts and a 56 inch waist. In the period that followed, I had lost roughly 80 pounds, smoothed down to size XL shirts and slinked into 40" pants. The post adderall climb crushed me; a 20 pound weight gain over a period of a year. Nothing fit, both clothingwise and emotionwise.

A year ago, I quit smoking and gained another 10-15 pounds and 2 more inches on my waist.

My last doctor visit in November of aught-seven had me in at 318. My 48" waist was pushing beyond the limits of my belt rather painfully. The XLs were traded in for XXLs. From December through February, I became an eating machine. Judging by the the upward scaling of clothing size, I estimate that I had put on another 10 pounds. I couldn't fit into my pants, shirt or underwear anymore. I picked up some 50" pants (waist was tight, but wearable) and some XXL sized underwear. I had crossed the threshhold, and was officially a disgusting pig again.

I weighed myself this morning. I estimate that, at the point I started all of this, I weighed about 330 pounds. While a net loss of 20lbs over that last five years, it was still a 60 pound gain from the completely lifechanging weight loss. While I have been noticing physical differences since changing my eating and exercising, I had low expectations of the scale.

I stepped on, closed my eyes and waited for the beep. I look down.

303.6

No fucking way. I reset and try again.

303.6.

I get undressed and try again.

299.2.

I've lost 30 pounds in the last month. Without medication. Without any support. Just me and only me. Absofuckinglutely incredible.

I'm still motivated. I'm going to do this, I'm actually going to do this.

Needless to say, I'm feel pretty damned extraordinary!