He's me. While I'm still a fat man, I'm less of a fat man than I was 6 months or even 3 months ago. I'm hovering between 272 and 274. I've been hovering here for a couple of weeks; I think I've hit the weight plateau. Interestingly enough, this is roughly the same weight I was down to when I lost all the weight on the ADD meds.

That's fine, because things are still changing down there. I'm developing lean muscle mass - my thighs are like rocks, my chest is hard and kind of bulge-y (this is a good thing), my arms are tightening up.

I'm cycling between 8 and 15 miles per day. I'm joining Planet Fitness after work today. I eat well, I eat on target and I don't go to bed hungry.

I don't know who I am, and while it's exciting, it's also a little frightening.

I woke up this morning at 5:30am; no alarm clock necessary. I got up, had some water, chomped down some oatmeal and skim milk, got dressed, stretched and hopped on my bike for a quick 30 minute ride.

Ten minutes in, having completed the river route and now blissfully breathless cruising through the Mt. Feake Cemetery, I nearly fall off my bike; I don't know who I am. But it's me. All me.
While I'm still the fat guy above, I'm really not the fat guy above, anymore. When my heartrate monitor hits the 175bpm alarm, I'm disappointed that I need to tone it down.

I, not so rigorously, stick to my daily calorie allotment. I'm flexible and most importantly, I'm forgiving. I play loose on the weekends. I went 800 calories over? It's ok. Just don't do it every day. I'll make it up during my workout. There's no penalty, just slower weight loss, and that's ok, too.

It's a frightening brave new world that I've entered. My legs (via pedals) frequently propel me at speeds upwards of 20mph. The intense pounding of my heart as I'm climbing a tough hill reminds me that I'm alive. The panic attacks are gone. Best of all, when I'm working out, my head is utterly and completely clear of all the shit that swarms around me. Work is breaking me? Ex girlfriend getting into my head? General FatManBrainFuck causing depression and anxiety? All I need to do is push myself into some cardio and it's tabula rasa. I spend my days yearning for the exercise. This is not me. This is some fascimile of me. I like this better version of me.

Best of all, I don't even care how dorky I look.